i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize