I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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