my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
