Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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