saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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