How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
