I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
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