I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
wow bdsm is so cute
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
