Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(505): View more from New Mexico

No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?

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(480): View more from Arizona

I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job

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(519): View more from Ontario

What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.

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(443): View more from Maryland

Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis

(828): View more from North Carolina

How high are you exactly

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(720): View more from Colorado

If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit

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