he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize