I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
