Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize