He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
