Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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