wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
