She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
