Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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