yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Randomize
