Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
