I can't watch pbs sober anymore
my vag is so smooth its legendary
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
