What did we do last night that was yellow?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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