I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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