this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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