Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
