Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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