i think i have herpe
just one?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
