So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Dear god my vagina.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
