; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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