This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
