It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
