I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
