im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize