that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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