It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
