I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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