Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
