There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
