in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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