have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize