problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
