I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
