You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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