a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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