and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
