The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
