i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
