he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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