Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You ate ashes out of my bong
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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