so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My ATM looks so different sober.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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