You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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