I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
