why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I wish they made helmets for livers.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
