I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
