Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
