doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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