On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
