The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
