oh god the rape fog is back!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
