From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
