Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Randomize